IntErNal ConFliCt

Conversation starts:
Would it be fair if I say I hate you?
Yes!
I hate you....
I hate you because you take things for granted,
I hate you because you tormented me,
I hate you because you put me in so much of twinge,
I hate you because you are not reliable,
I hate you because you don’t think before you converse,
I hate you because your priority is erroneous,
I hate you because you dissociate your senses,
I hate you because you tend to offend your loved ones,
I hate you because you are self-seeking,
I hate you because you are inconsiderate,
I hate you because serious issues are a tease to you,
I hate you because you are so full of yourself,
I hate you because you hate me!!!!!
End of conversation between me and the mirror....to be continued!

DiLeMmA

It is 5.01am, and I’m sitting on my study desk contemplating what to do. After all that has happened, I am rendered in a quandary. Not in my wildest nightmare would I see myself being in this kind of circumstances.

Carpal tunnel syndrome was supposed to be the only thing in my mind but disastrously, many other issues have won their way to claim priority in my mind. I am left with one simple task, task to find my feet, but I am struggling. Learned helplessness would clearly define me right now!

The past has been a chip on my shoulder. A year of happiness and a month of hollowness have thought me a lot. I realise that things don’t always happen the way u want it to be. I realise that at times, your actions are not in the same wavelength as your brains. I realise that ego-ness can be really destructive. I realised that there is no point crying over split milk. I realised that nobody understands me any better than me, myself and I. To my surprise but I finally realised that one month of hollowness has the capability of evaporating a year of happiness.

Hmmmmmmmmmm.....

Right now, all I have got to do is to keep my chin up. Let bygones be bygones and allow a new rainbow to shine within myself. The diamond has begun to shine, and I have taken an extra mile searching for it, I found it and it is making me happy but I should take things slow as I do not want to rush in making any decision. As beautiful as it may seem, it fades away in a blink of an eye, as beauty is not eternal.

The last thing in mind is to count my chickens before it hatches as I do not want to put myself again in a perplexed situation.

-VK-